yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
worst night to have a conscience
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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