I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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