He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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