i always forget guys have bellybuttons
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize