He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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