THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
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giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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