Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
