i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize