Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
