I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
