I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
try to milk me bitch
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
