I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
