your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
