what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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