What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
