K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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