I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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