Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
