The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize