Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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