sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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