Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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