No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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