I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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