im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
