Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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