are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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