I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
