Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
