WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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