i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
