This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize