And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
