Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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