I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
