he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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