she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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