how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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