No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
