I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
