just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
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Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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