Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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