Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So vagazzling was a success
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
