so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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