Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
