I am puke
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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