Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
