Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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