I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I've blown a few things in my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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