is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize