Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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