trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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