He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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