I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
