His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
