2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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