Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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