thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
