whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
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I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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